Tonight was a evening run at dusk with some Jadon Lavik. I had no desire for speed work. Tonight I needed to run at no particular pace, just let my feet beat out the rhythm while I listened to his mellow tenor voice sing to me. I peeled off layers of a tiring day with every mile. When you listen to people tell you their problems as your life’s work it can be exhausting. Sometimes it’s hard not to wear some of the despair home with you. Tonight as I ran down that winding road I know by heart, I let the troubles that seem to want to choke me just an hour earlier, roll off my back and into the ditch that is thick with honeysuckle and blackberries.
And tonight, as the sun was just dipping below the horizon and the last few rays sent a scorching ray across the pasture, I listened to Jadon Lavik croon a familiar tune. Since I didn’t think he’d mind too much, I slowed down enough so that I could harmonize with him without gasping from the thick July Georgia air. It is a song as old as time and I love the tight harmony reminding me that Grace really is amazing.
So amazing in fact that it can relieve every fear of mine….and yours too if you will let it…..
And a heart inside a wretch like me is wracked with fear at any given time.
Am I enough?
Does God still have plans for me?
Will my girls do the right thing? Will they love God more than anything?
Do I make any difference at all?
What if…….a hundred different scenarios and none make much sense or any difference but still crowd my mind on a hot sticky July evening as I slap at them and the mosquitos too.
And then I am reminded that Grace is really the antithesis of fear…..
Grace wrapped around a cross where blood flows down and covers us. It relieves my fear…because He is enough.
Grace, it puddles at my feet and splashes me as I run through it and it relieves my fear….because everyday and every moment is a ministry. Sometimes scratching The Mister’s back while he tells me about his day is more important than teaching a bible study.
Grace runs down the road in front of me and lights the path that is now close to dark. The horse in the pasture stomps and snorts at me and I laugh out loud at her because Grace has made me forget my fear. My girls are kept much safer in His care than I can hold them in my hands. So I can run in the light of this Grace and leave my worries about them right here on the road…and I do.
Grace, I feel it on my face as I come up the drive in the form of evening raindrops. As I feel the drops collect and wash away the sweat from my face I hear the voice of a young girl from earlier this evening tell me secrets that are hard to share. They have imprisoned her far too long and by just listening we are beginning to unlock the chains. It will be awhile until she’s free, but it’s a start. And that is making a difference to her. Maybe I’m the only one who ever really listens, I don’t think there’s much of anyone else that cares much. But she will understand Grace one day too. It’s calling her now. And that is the difference.
And somehow once again Grace has relieved fears. Turned them inside out on a hot summer night run. Amazing Grace takes fears and makes them pictures of hope. For me. For my girls. For my Mister. And for a young woman who wants to be free.
I see the setting sun and it reminds me that we have at least 10,000 years to thank Him for this Grace…not nearly enough time? Well then, how about an eternity?