God spoke to me about a month ago. The kind of “speak” that wakes you up at midnight in a cold sweat and leaves you breathing hard. I listened without making a sound. No words, just thoughts and impressions. I tiptoed out of my bed and into The Mister’s big chair and just sat and waited. When God wants to talk, it’s best to just listen.
He told me, among other things, that I was making a mess out of my present ministry and would I like for Him to show me how to do it His way instead of mine. I did not need Him to show me how I had failed and it’s not like My Father to point out all my failures over and again. We both knew where the mess was, and we both knew what it would take to clean it up. I had simply ignored it and God, in His loving way, was shining a light into those corners with that were piled high with resentment, frustration and inadequacies.
It turns out that Mr. Blackaby in his “Experiencing God” is right. He is always at work all around us, and asks us to join Him. The problem is we often mistake His work as something grand instead of the simple, in front of us. I told him I was ready to get back to basics and He told me that is where he was working the whole time. As seasons of life change, so does the place He works with us. Sometimes He asks us to go home and be the best wife we can be. Basic, yet profound. Sometimes He asks us not to speak to a crowd but to whisper encouragements in the ears of our babies. Sometimes He asks us to dirty our hands in the basement level of constructing the big thing, and other times, He asks us to ride the country roads with our husbands and laugh while we hold hands.
Mostly, He told me that He did not want anything grand from me. No need for me to keep asking His will and expecting a huge revelation, no getting ready for “the next big thing”. Instead He quietly led me back to bed and into my place beside The Mister, where I belonged. I snuggled up next to this man who is a treasure to me from The Father.
“This is your ministry Child.” He said.
I let big ole tears come down my face and wet my pillow. How did I miss this? While I have been waiting on God, He’s been waiting on me.
This morning, we came home the back way, because The Mister always chooses to take the country road. I watched him while he talked about school, I listened to him make jokes and I laughed. I love this ministry. Season change in life, and I will not always be in this place, in this exact ministry. I want to do it well. Someone else can teach in this season, others will be called to lead. For now, in this season, I am learning things I taught to others and I am happier than I have been in a long time.