Typically this is how a disagreement with me works:
Conversation is rolling along and suddenly, we come to that specific point where you make an obviously inaccurate statement and I gently respond.
By gently, I mean fast and loud. The faster I talk, the less you can wedge in of your false ideas and should you happen to squeeze in a “but…” While I pause for breath, I will simply raise the decibels to drown you out, thereby making your attempt a mute point.
Graceful? More like disgusting…..
If I could see myself on playback it would make me puke.
So how does one learn to disagree with grace?
Can you have opposing ideas with united hearts?
And I’m not talking about me and The Mister discussing whether Longhorns is better than Outback, or whether Danica stinks because she really can’t drive or The Mister is sexist when it comes to NASCAR.
I’m not talking about denying foundational truths cannot be compromised. Or “tolerance” that has become as twisted as a pretzel.
I’m talking about the things that separates choice friends. There are times when family says left but you swear by right. And we all feel like we are always right.
How do we maintain an opinion, maybe even a conviction with love and gentleness? How do you give someone permission not to see it your way yet love then fiercely?
Could it be that I could learn to love a person more than my desire to be right? There are plenty of times when it is just not worth it. I’ve been there. I have been sure of my stance yet in the standing I cut off the blood supply to the offender and in my fight for lesser things, I damaged what was once a beautiful thing.
I am learning, slowly, that it is perfectly OK to not see eye to eye but at the end of the day I’m still shoulder to shoulder or better, face I face with those I count as dear.
And as a very dear friend, who I actually have disagreed at times with but love immensely through the years, says….
You can be right, or you can be happy.
After all, more minds are changed through love than a good argument.