A different gift

In keeping with our topsy-turvy year of 2012, our Christmas Sunday was a bit different. We did not all worship together as a family. Gasp! It was different, but different does not always mean bad.  The Mister left by himself this morning to tend to his duties at Sinclair. I felt a twinge of guilt knowing that today was a celebration of Christmas and there was family communion to take place. He assured me that he would be fine taking communion minus his wife.

Baby Girl was still in the careful process of eyeliner application, apparently the most fundamental part of cosmetics when you are sixteen, when I kissed her forehead goodbye. She was trailing The Mister and ending up at Sinclair in time to hear her pal Abby sing for church.

And me and Big Girl, well, we went to the church down the road to hear my dear friend Leah sing.  For me and Big Giirl to go to church this morning together, just the two of us, was perhaps the best present I will receive this holiday.

And so as we scattered out different paths on this Sunday to celebrate The Birth, I thought in passing, “This is different, all of us every whichaway”.  I decide I much prefer this family in a row, with our Christmas red on, sitting side by side in the sanctuary all together, the way it is supposed to be.

But different, is just different, not bad or good….and today, it was a gift.

I sat still, Big Girl to my left and let the music of the choir fill my soul. It has been a while since I sat and soaked it up. I pushed away thoughts of  scatteredness and let the harmony fill me. In that moment, He spoke. Quietly, dealing oh so gently with me. “Look, I answered your prayer. Here you are, with Big Girl, not where you planned, but where I want you. Soak it up child. This is Christmas. ”

The voices of Leah and the others sing”…..hallelujah this is glory, hallelujah this is grace, hallelujah this is mercy flowing down, as we dance in the light of Your love.”  and tears slip down and my chin trembles.  I think about His mercy flowing down on me at this very moment. I am overwhelmed by His grace. Carefully, so as not to freak out Big Girl, I raise my hand in worship and mouth the beautiful words with the choir…..I will dance in the light of Your love.”

Today is different for us, but different is not always bad. Today, different is a gift.


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