You always hurt the ones you love

Sometimes it’s a thoughtless word, lack of noticing what is dear to another…

Sometimes it is intentional. A dagger carefully placed to bring the maximum amount of pain. And how strategic we are. When we love someone, know them, care for them, we understand the most vulnerable places. The words that will wound the worst.  The thoughts behind a phrase said offhand, are meant to to dig deep.

The satisfaction is sour instead of sweet when we realize that the wound inflicted brings us pain as well. How can you wound someone you love without feeling the pain too? If it’s true that we “bear one another’s burdens and fulfill the law of Christ” Why do we specialize in self-mutilation? It is as if, believers, who should know that fullest extent of forgivenss cause each other the most pain.

I tell the Father about my pain, inflicted by one I trust or I confess my anger to Him in hopes that He will somehow erase the words, the ugly things I said to harm another. And He is silent. As I struggle to forgive and face my own cruelty, He whispers, ” I hurt the One I loved the most….for you.  I unleashed my anger on Him….for you.  Nothing except death would satisfy Me.

In that moment I realize where forgiveness comes from. I realize how to cover hurt. I realize the extent of the damage I have caused, and I leave it there. At His feet. The One who was hurt by the Father…for me…so I can move forward in freedom.

This love. Unspeakable. Unworthy. Chosen. Forgiven. Free

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