I wonder if like me on occasion, Mary Magdalene was not just the slightest disappointed in Jesus. If we are all honest, there have all been times that things did not work out as I prayed for them and imagined He would work. People died after I prayed for healing. Friends have walked away when I prayed for reconciliation. My children have hurt when I prayed blessings over them. When she realized He was really gone, did it leave her questioning?
To be honest, those experiences left me at first wondering and then begrudgingly questioning why. Later I look back and realize that strange feeling in my chest was in fact….disappointment…..with Jesus.
Before you gasp at the audacity of it all, stop and think about the last time you wondered, “What are you doing God?”
In a love that is incomprehensible, I dare say that God can handle your questions, and your disappointments that He did not jump at your beck and call. He does not punish those questions we whisper at night, in the dark, when sleep leaves us and troubles multiply. He answers us as He did Job, “Child, My ways are not your ways. Our thinking is galaxies apart. I see the beginning to the end, and you only the smallest still frame in front of your eyes. Trust Me.”
Maybe I underestimate Mary, but I think that, like me, she wondered, “maybe I misunderstood what He said.” or ” I think I just heard what I wanted to hear.” She may have ,like me,whispered in the dark, ” I was counting on You to come through for Me.”
She, like me, had quickly forgotten the miracles from last week, and wore her sorrow for the world to see.
The miracle of the resurrection is not about Mary Magdalene and her crisis of faith. No, the miracle of the resurrection is that God infused a dead corpse, the cold gray body of his God-man Son with life. The miracle of the resurrection is that God’s power it limitless, not constrained by our weak, infirmed earthly expectations. If we were never seemingly disappointed by our Savior, when He chooses to do work in His way, we would miss the greater miracles.
Our disappointment in unmet expectations of our weak faith gives way to awe inspired, mouth gaping wonder when through our selfish tears of unfulfilled demands, we see the living Son of God. We see Him, not His works, but Him, the greatest treasure.
And like Mary, we are overcome with the wonder of a Living Saviour. We fall on our knees in Your presence and say “Worthy is the Lamb to receive power, and glory and honor.”